Parenting Styles
Parenting Styles
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Authoritarian
Permissive
Authoritative
common with lower SES mothers
common with middle and high SES mothers
shape and control their children’s behavior, which they evaluate against a set of rigid standards
emphasize obedience, respect for authority, hard work, and transitional values
discourage real communication; in favor of “listen and obey”
children have lots of freedom
tolerant and accepting attitude toward children
rarely punish, make few demands, and place few restrictions
set clear standards and expect their children to meet them, treat children maturely, and use discipline where appropriate to ensure that rules are followed
encourage children to develop independence and individuality
practice open communication in which children’s point of view and opinions are considered
struggle with autonomy; could be oversensitive to criticism; need lots of praise
often mastery oriented, could have perfectionist tendencies
extrinsically motivated; entity view of intelligence
difficulty following rules and expectations; may not understand the purpose of rules or be able to accept consequences for rules broken
more cognitively competent children
intrinsically motivated; incremental views intelligence
strongest negative affect on child’s school performance; lower grade point average
lower grade point average; possible behavior/discipline issues at school
leads to better learning outcomes; stronger school engagement;
highest grade point average
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Growing up, my parents were VERY authoritarian. There were a lot of rules and expectations that must be followed and never challenged. We could not question decisions and there was never family discussions. It was truly their way or the highway. I – If you can can’t already tell – am a perfectionist. Extrinsically motived, I seek out mastery oriented goals and can be sensitive to failure/criticism. Unlike my brother, I did very well in school – graduated top 10 in my high school class of 1000 and magma cum laude in college. I think it was my need for praise from my teachers and my perfectionism that help me remain successful in school. My bother on the other hand struggled in school, received very low grades, and exhibited rebellious behaviors. Although his decisions made my parents extremely angry, he had disassociated himself and punishment received didn’t change his behavior.
Now that I’m a parent and a teacher, I strive to be authoritative in my home and in my classroom, because research shows authoritative parenting style fosters stronger, more resilient, more intelligent kiddos. I want my children (biological kiddos and school kiddos) to feel like they have a voice. I want them to be ok with failure/criticism and use it for growth. It is hard sometimes to parent and teach in this way, for what I know and experienced is the authoritarian style. I have be slow to speak and thoughtful in my actions to ensure I’m not reverting to what is engrained within me. The effort and time is worth it. I want my children (home and school) to be better, more successful than me.
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According to Baumrind, parents who display an authoritative style of discipline and child rearing tend to raise children who are more cognitively competent. The quality of mother-infant interaction is as important as a child’s own behavior and skills at an early age in predicting the child’s later cognitive ability. A study found that the emotional quality of the mother-child relationship when the child was 4 years old was associated with cognitive ability at the age of 4, IQ at age 6, and school achievement at age 12. Emotional relationships do effect a child’s cognitive development. Our text discussed a study that examined the parenting styles of high school students (Dorchbusch et al., 1987), and in this study, it was proven that students who had both authoritarian and permissive parenting styles were associated with lower grades, whereas the authoritative style students were associated with higher grades. Overall, this study showed students with mixed or inconsistent styles had the lowest grade averages. Another study that was conducted investigated parenting practices, achievement, parental involvement in schooling, and parental encouragement to succeed on school achievement. It was a ethnically and socioeconomically heterogeneous study. They found that authoritative parents led to better school performance and stronger school engagement. Parental involvement was high in where there was an authoritative parenting style, but less involved with other parenting styles. In conclusion, we can say that students with an authoritarian and directive parenting style, will not have the most desirable performances in school. On the other hand, we see that students with an authoritative parenting style, will be more beneficial when it comes to school performance. As a teacher, I will strive to do what our text suggests teachers do if they have students who are controlled on a tight rope at home. In the classroom, we can give these students more choice and praise them for their efforts instead of focusing on the things they do wrong in order to build their self-worth!
I would describe my parents’ parenting style growing up as being a solid authoritative style. They set high standards and expectations for both my sister and I and we were expected to meet those with hard work and perseverance. We were disciplined when the need would arise. I remember them always telling me that they were disciplining us because they loved us and wanted us to learn from the mistake. Looking back, I am thankful for parents who raised us this way because their parenting style shaped us into the adults we are today, knowing that we are to follow rules, expectations and laws. At home, we always knew that we had an open communication policy, if we ever needed to talk about anything, it wasn’t a question of “do we say anything?” We just talked about it. I think communication is key to any relationship in life, so I’m glad my parents always made us feel like we could communicate our feelings, concerns, and opinions.